Ready for Forever

          “I’m in love! I’m in love and I don’t care who knows!” Will Ferrell, in his Elmer Fudd hat and goofy boyish grin perfectly captured what it feels like when you first fall in love in his Christmas classic Elf. Ferrell’s character, Buddy the Elf, bursts into his disgruntled father’s meeting in order to share the news of his newly discovered romance with Jovie, the girl from Gimbel’s. While Buddy’s proclamation is meant to be a bit dramatic, I feel it is completely appropriate and embodies the feelings that so many of us wish we could verbalize upon first falling for someone special.

            These days, I feel like Buddy. I am completely, head over heels, madly in love with the guy I shared the perfect first kiss with (remember him?!). He’s my best friend. He’s my anchor. He’s my motivation. I can be having the most awful day in the history of bad days, and just talking to him for 10 minutes instantly brightens my mood. Finally, he is also my boyfriend.

            First and foremost though, he is my best friend. Falling in love with your best friend is the scariest, most exhilarating experience ever. You worry because you don’t know if they feel the same way. You’re nervous because you do not want to ruin the friendship. But at the same time, you cannot help it. They’re always there when you need someone. They are the first person you think about when you wake up, and the last before you fall asleep and see them in your dreams. Whenever something happens, good or bad, they are the one you want to tell first. They make you laugh when you’re crying. They make you cry from laughing. They assure you that you are not crazy and, if you actually are, they make sure to tell you that they happen to love crazy.

            This is him. He is all of this and so much more. He is smart. He is kind. He is funny. He is loving. He has the most amazing personality. He’s pretty damn good looking too. All I have to do is see him from across the room, or just know that he is near, and I feel completely at peace. He calms my nerves. He wipes away my tears. He lets me cry. He lets me be myself. I can be silly and crazy or frustrated as hell or just sad, and he takes it all and loves me for it. He reminds me of how beautiful I am in his eyes when I feel like complete shit. He understands that sometimes I just need to cry or talk and it is not necessarily that I need him to respond, rather just to listen. He lets me spread my wings as far as I want, and always manages to catch me when I fall. He would do absolutely anything for me.
            And I would do anything for him. I have never felt as strongly about someone as I do about him. My heart aches when he is upset or sick and I cannot physically help him. When something good happens to him, I feel as though I am on Cloud 9 right there with him. I want everything in the world for him, and I want to experience all of life with him. He is my person.

            I am continually amazed that I have found someone who makes me feel the way he does. They say that soul mates are a real thing, and I finally can see why. He is my soul mate. I once read a quote that stated “We were given 2 ears to hear, 2 eyes to see, 2 hands to feel, 2 legs to move, but only 1 heart. Why is that? Because our other heart was given to someone else and we must spend our days searching for them.” I have found my heart and soul. He is my best friend and my number 1. Loving him is like breathing. It just happens naturally. I cannot imagine life without him. I cannot wait to see what life has in store for us. There is a quote in the movie When Harry Met Sallythat says, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” I found my somebody. And I’m ready for the rest of my life, because I know he will be there.

Xoxo,

Ciara  

The Gift of Time

I love Christmas. The decorations, the lights, the joy that seeps into everyone’s souls, all of it. I love the joy and happiness, the season’s greetings, and the well wishes. I love the scent of fresh pine needles, the warm glow of the fire, the twinkling of Christmas lights, the sweet sounds of carols playing in every store. Most importantly, I love how the holiday brings people together. My favorite part of the holiday is Christmas Eve. My family gets all dressed up and goes to 6 o’clock mass. Afterwards, we come home, my dad lights the fire, my mom sets the table with her good wedding china and her Waterford crystal candlesticks. My brothers and I watch a movie or some Christmas special on TV while my parents finish making dinner. We all then sit down and enjoy a wonderfully delicious meal. Afterwards, my siblings and I help clear the table and then disappear to our rooms to finish wrapping presents. We all reconvene around 11pm and, even though we are all older, ages 21-12 to be exact, we sit around the living room and take turns reading The Night Before Christmas. Then, all of the kids go to their rooms for the night. It is such a wonderful evening.

The presents are my favorite part of Christmas. Not receiving them, although that is nice, but giving them. I love giving presents. The thrill of looking for something that you know will bring a smile to a loved one’s face is so amazing. I search and search to find the perfect gifts to give my brothers, parents, and friends. I can’t shop too early for them though, because I am terribly impatient and cannot wait to give them their gifts.

The past few years however, since I have been in college, I have found myself focusing less on the physical gifts I give and more on making the memories and spending time with the ones I love. Only after moving 2 1/2 hours away did I realize how much I cherish the time spent hanging out with my brothers. Even simple things such as sitting around the dining room table blasting music from our computer and talking have taken on a new meaning now that I am not home everyday to experience them. The greatest gift, I have learned, is simply the gift of time. Time spent with loved ones. Time spent not doing much at all, but doing it together. Time that could be spent in our respective rooms, on our electronics, talking to our friends. So, this Christmas season, I am going to make a real and conscious effort to simply spend more time with my family. They say time is the greatest gift of all, and time spent with the ones you love is never time wasted.

I hope you all consider simply spending time with the ones you love this holiday season. It is something that may seem insignificant at the time, but will surely leave a lasting impression on all those involved. Merry Christmas!

xoxo,
Ciara

Disbanding the "Friend Zone"

         The friend zone. We’ve all heard of it. Some of us may have been placed in it, while others have done the zoning themselves. Or, as is usually the case, it is a combination of the two. You friend zone a great person because you say you don’t want to “risk losing the friendship.” In reality, you may just not be romantically attracted to this individual. Or perhaps you are attracted to someone else and do not want to mess up any chances you have with them. Regardless, you place someone in “the zone” and it hurts. It hurts them. It hurts you to hurt them. Then, you pursue the other one and are shocked and saddened when THEY place YOU in the friend zone. It happens.

            Why we place these parameters on people we supposedly care so much about, you may ask. Well, my friend-zoning friends, the answer is simple. Fear. We fear losing. We are terrified at the thought of losing the beautiful trust and compassion we have built with this person. The idea of the relationship not working out frightens us so much we do what we believe is the only logical thing left. We place them in a defined compartment in our heart. We think, subconsciously, by placing these important people in “the friend zone” we can keep them in our lives forever. We will never have to worry about losing them, because they have a designated spot in our lives and our hearts.

            This couldn’t be further from the truth. Placing limits on your relationships with someone is selfish and unfair. It is not fair to the other person and it is not fair to you. By limiting the type of affection and interaction that can be held between two people you are limiting yourself of so many experiences. If someone knows they only hold a certain position in your life, and there is no possibility of them being anything else to you, they will feel as though they have already lost. You must allow yourself to be open and willing to see potential in every relationship you have. Give your heart the freedom to choose what kinds of relationships you wish to have with certain people, and you will not be disappointed.

            The friend zone. It is a cheap fix to a large problem. Don’t allow yourself to sink into that pattern. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt and live each and every friendship, relationship, and partnership as though it was the real deal. Perhaps your actions will inspire others in your life to reevaluate the ways they look at relationships as well. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. Beware of the zone, my dears!
Xoxo,

Ciara