“So are you guys like, a thing?” That’s the question that my best friend asked me as we sat in a booth eating greasy French fries and instantly regretting not going to the gym that week. I had just finished telling her about the amazing guy with whom I was friends and the blissfully perfect kiss we had shared. I pondered the question as I dipped another fry into the puddle of Ketchup plopped in the middle of the takeout box. “Ummm… I guess so? I really like him and he said he likes me, but we haven’t gone on an actual date yet.” As I said the words I quickly wished they were not true. I am a firm believer in the old-fashioned dating game. I want to go out on dates and talk and laugh and get to know each other. I love the thought of waiting for that first kiss; the anticipation of the first date; the butterflies, the making sure you look okay, and the overanalyzing every little detail with your best friends in the morning. I just don’t think this is how relationships begin these days.
This guy is great. He’s amazing. He’s smart, hilarious, and so extremely caring. He is considerate and gentlemanly. We can sit for hours and talk and never get bored or we can sit in silence and do our homework and it’s so natural and somehow still fun. One night, my blood sugars were kinda crazy and he not only walked me back to my dorm to make sure I was okay, but insisted on staying until my blood sugar was at a stable level and I was positive I would be able to fall asleep and wake up in the morning. He did all this without a single thought, despite the fact that he had an early class and a paper to edit in the morning. He’s the kind of guy you are proud to know and proud to be friends with. I am so incredibly blessed that he chose me to grow close to and form a relationship with.
I can’t call him my boyfriend though cause we technically aren’t dating. When I want to describe his role in my life to others, it becomes a confusing array of jumbled words. He’s my friend first and foremost. He’s someone I trust. He’s the guy I love to just lay and cuddle and watch a movie. But he’s not my boyfriend. He’s not my friend with benefits either. He’s my potential I guess.
Why, in this age of extreme connections and casual relationships, is it so hard to define what someone is to you? Why are people so seemingly against labeling relationships? When someone means a lot to me, I want to celebrate that. I want to express how important they are to me. I am not the kind of person who wants everyone to know my business. Actually, I am a pretty private person when it comes to my personal life. However, I feel that labeling the role someone plays in your life is just as, if not more, meaningful and important to them as it may be to the way people view your relationship. Labeling the relationship is a way of saying “hey, I like you and you are a really important part of my life and this is the title I think of when I think of you.”
I don’t have a label on this “thing” I have with this amazing guy. We haven’t made anything “Facebook official” (I’m not a fan of that. It just makes things awkward when/if you don’t work out). We don’t know what to call each other except for really important to the other. But I know he cares a lot about me. I know he likes me (at least a little) and I know how I feel about him. So, while a label on this “thing” would be nice, I’m okay for now.